We often chase imaginary awards.
Invisible trophies.
Unspoken medals we never signed up for, but somehow feel we must earn.
Standards that were never truly ours in the first place.
Which of these non-existent awards have you been unconsciously competing for?
- “Always on”
- “Most perfect”
- “Never said no”
- “Rested the least”
- “Didn’t need help”
- “Left the office last”
- “Lived up to everyone’s expectations”
- “Cared most about what other people think of me”
These awards do not exist.
Except in your mind.
As for the pain?
You’re exhausted.
You’re doing all the things — achieving, performing, giving — yet still feeling not enough. Like you’re living someone else’s version of success, not your own.
The problem?
We blame our schedule, our workload, our boss, our circumstances.
But it’s the noise in your head.
The constant, nagging inner critic.
The mental load that never switches off.
The internal expectations that keep you locked in driving, pushing and performing relentlessly.
You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re probably just drained, exhausted and fed up with fighting others and especially fighting your own mind.
Here’s a truth pill for you:
You don’t need to escape your life.
But you do need to stop believing every thought.
Learn how to break free from the unconscious programming that’s been running your life in the background – quietly, automatically, relentlessly.
Every.
Single.
Day.
Including weekends.
And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
That’s when you get a tantalising taste of mental freedom.
So where do you begin?
Here are 3 ways you can stop chasing the imaginary awards and reclaim your mind:
- Name the award you’re chasing. Catch the thought in the act. “If I don’t answer that email tonight, I’m letting people down.” What award is that chasing? “Most 24/7 available human”? Call it out, loud for the people at the back. Own what you’re doing. Catch yourself in the act and call it.
- Ask: “What’s actually true right now?” Most of the mind’s noise is about fear, not fact. Anchor yourself in the present. What’s real? What’s urgent? What’s imagined? Get clear on the difference.
- Interrupt the pattern. Take one small rebellious act. Unsubscribe from some of these unnecessary emails. Say no. Take a longer break than you think you’re “allowed.” Show your nervous system that nothing will burn down.
Each small shift chips away at the noise.
And every time you say no to an invisible trophy, you say yes to freedom.
This is what we do at Mind Day.
A small, intentional group.
A deep, guided reset.
A day to release the internal battles that have been holding you back.
So you can walk away with more clarity, lightness, and power than you’ve felt in a long time.
Doors are now open for the next Mind Day. There’s one for men, and one for women.
This is not a day where you’ll be taught what to do.
It’s a day where you’ll unlearn the noise that’s been blocking you.
Mark my words, it’s transformational.
The Mind Day is for:
- Women who are tired of being everything to everyone, and need some me-time.
- For men who lead and carry more than they show and want to get their mojo back.
You don’t need to keep it all together.
You just need to make space to come back to you and get your groove back. You’ll find that space on this day.
I’d love to see you in the room.
Click here for the events page if you’re curious.
I read a post this weekend about the fact that most people are born to wounded parents.
For children, this meant taking on the parental role and codependency conditioning: where you focus on changing someone else at the expense of your own needs.
The sad thing is that this pattern continues in their romantic relationships, projecting this onto their significant other and falling into a mindset thinking they are responsible for fixing, saving, and rescuing that person.
Even sadder is they fall into a mindset of believing they’re responsible for the chaos of others.
We know, logically, it’s not the job of the child to take on their parent’s emotions whether it’s:
Helping a parent out of chronic sickness or addiction
Putting on a brave face for a parent who’s being abused
Giving up their own life to ‘fix’ their parents’ life
Only once they seek help do they notice their own needs and patterns.
We all have an inner child within us – some emotionally abandoned, others not.
You?
If the pandemic wasn’t enough of a clue, and you haven’t started please start your healing now.
A great way is by signing up for our live and online Boundaries & Brilliance Masterclass. It’ll teach you how to create your first healthy and strong boundary – both must apply. If it’s unhealthy, that causes people-pleasing tendencies and leaves you drained, anxious and more fearful within that relationship with that person – colleague, boss, partner or someone else.
If your boundary is too strong, you miss out on letting the right things in to experience life in full colour.
Wake yourself up to notice your needs, your patterns and projections onto others and heal…
Out of these three areas above, what will you start with this week?
Your opposite.
I remember Mother’s Day in sunny South Africa. We hosted a braai for Mom and I made this cute bundled-up package with her favourites and a card handwritten from my heart.
My Mom is the polar opposite of me.
She’s a full-on introvert.
I’m mostly extroverted.
Growing up I learnt the power of my opposite.
I learnt how they:
Lead themselves and others.
Fight battles.
Communicate.
Solve problems.
Get results.
From there my admiration grew…
Think about your loved ones, your significant other (if you have a partner), your friendship circle, your team at work, your line manager… do they mirror you or are they your opposite?
If they are your opposite, reflect on whether you clash or leverage each other’s perspective.
I love how my opposite is conscientious, reflects before putting their mouth into gear and is a completer-finisher…
I invite you to reflect on the dynamics of opposites in your relationships and ask yourself:
- How can these differences complement instead of create friction?
- What, if anything, can I tweak to make these contrasts work in our favour?
- What do I admire in my opposite?